Missing my Mother...

Many moons have passed since my last post last October.  And much has happened.  I've not had the heart or energy to blog about the death of my Mother on November 11, 2012.  Yet with Mother's Day approaching, and all the reminders about celebrating Mom's, I'm compelled to finally write this.

Her death was a blessing, to be sure.  And it is a comfort to know that she was no longer afraid... she smiled everytime we prayed with her during those last weeks.  That in itself was worth everything, because she had been so fearful.  We are so thankful to Pastor Steve Becker and to the Chaplains from Hospice.  They helped her so very very much.  And thankfully, she is finally free from the terrible pain that she suffered from for so very long.

The staff at Oak Creek Terrace, the nurses and aides, led by Carla Becker from Hospice of Greater Dayton were fabulous.  Our family is so incredibly grateful to them for the care and support they gave to Mother, and to all of us.

Watching her slip away that last day was difficult.  I couldn't bear to leave her side, yet I wanted to escape.  We played music for her, especially her favorite: "Somewhere" by Barbra Streisand.  She adored that song, and begged us to play it for her when she was on her deathbed.  And we did.  It was difficult, but it's what she wanted, and we were determined to do anything for her.  We planned her her memorial service, and I think she would have been pleased.  Pastor Steve presided, and we had traditional readings and music.  And we included some other things that I know in my heart would have pleased her very much.  We played "Somewhere" by Barbra Streisand at the end of the service and there were bowls of Milky Way bars for people to enjoy.  Milky Way bars were Mother's favorite, and the main staple of her diet for the last couple of years.  And now that's she's free, I'm sure she's in heaven, soaring freely along the milky way!

From Mother's Funeral:

Memorial Service for Julia Chace Fisher Garretson

Monday, November 19th, 2012, 2:00 p.m.

Woodland Cemetery Mausoleum Chapel

Dayton, Ohio

Pastor Stephan E. Becker - Officiating

Obituary

Julia Garretson, age 81, died at Oak Creek Terrace in Kettering, Ohio, on Sunday, November 12, 2012.

Born April 30, 1931, in Dayton, Ohio, she attended Oakwood High School and graduated from The Masters School, Dobb's Ferry, New York in 1950. She also attended Mount Vernon College in Washington, DC.  She was a loving and devoted mother and grandmother who will be greatly missed by all who knew her.  She was preceded in death by her parents, her husband, Jack S. Garretson and her sister, Elizabeth F. Bruce. Julia is survived by her daughters, Annie G. (Russell) Milliron and Lilli G. (Philip) Lingle; grandchildren, Garretson C. Lingle and Logan D. Lingle; cousin, Anthony Haswell and many nieces and nephews.

The family would like to thank the staff of Oak Creek Terrace for their loving and compassionate care of Julia.  Memorial contributions may be made to Hospice of Dayton, 324 Wilmington Ave., Dayton, OH 45420 or the Humane Society of Greater Dayton, 1661 Nicholas Rd., Dayton, OH 45417.

Irish Blessing

May the road rise to meet you,

may the wind be ever at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and the rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Order of Service

Prelude……………………………………...……“Be Not Afraid” ………………………………………………....“Here I Am Lord” ……………………………………………….“On Eagle’s Wings”

……………………………………………….“The Lord’s Prayer”

Readings

……………………………….Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, Russell Milliron

………………………………………..Romans 5:5-11, Mary Clark

……………………………..Romans 8:31-39, Garretson C. Lingle

Gospel

……………………………John 14:1-6, Pastor Stephan E. Becker

Eulogy…………………………………Pastor Stephan E. Becker

Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity

to accept the things I cannot change,

The courage to change the things I can,

And the wisdom to know the difference.

Recessional……………………“Somewhere” By Barbra Streisand and “I will see you in my dreams” by Joe Brown

I miss her.  I miss her desperately.  Knowing this, admitting this, would make her smile, and most likely say something like "I told you so".  And that's ok.. because she would be right. I don't want to be maudlin... I don't feel maudlin.  There's an underlying sadness, but it doesn't consume me.  When it wells up, I let it out.  We're going to the cemetery this weekend with flowers.  It's been awhile, and that's ok.  Because she's not really there.  But we'll take flowers and make it pretty... she'd like that!

I love you Mother.  You are in my heart today, and always.  Happy Mother's Day

As Aunt Jo would have said... "Day of Days"....

Aunt Jo, who lived to the ripe old age of 97 used to journal... alot! She would use spiral bound notebooks that you could buy at the corner drug store. She had multitudes of them. And each page began with "I was born on May 6, 1893, and my Father from in his Diary "Day of Days"! We always had a good chuckle about that, bless her heart. Her birthday, clearly was very important to her. And rightly so! My family has always made a big deal about birthdays.... a birthday is a person's unique day where they can celebrate and be celebrated. After moving away from home, we could always count on the phone ringing at midnight. It would be my Mom calling. She wanted to be the first one to say happy birthday.

However this year, the phone was silent. Mother is still able to make calls but she has a broken leg, and has been pretty heavily medicated to keep the pain away. And while I certainly understood why she didn't or couldn't call, it still made me sad. So I went to bed feeling a bit melancholy, and more than a little sorry for myself. Silly I know. I wrote in my journal yesterday:

My birthday... lots of expectations... lots of doubts. Lord, I pray to you for help with this. For some reason, I always have unattainable expectations on this day, and am always disappointed. I know in my heart that this is nobody’s fault but my own. Help me Lord, to appreciate the many blessings I have and to find joy and celebration in them. Amen.

And as it turned out, as I should have known, my prayers were answered. I had a truly wonderful day! Thank you Lord! I truly am very blessed to have good friends, loving family and caring co-workers.

• Laura, my boss brought in flowers, a lovely cake and sand-tarts... she said that a little birdie, who I knew was my former boss Alan, had told her that they were my favorites.
• Barbara my cousin took me out to lunch to the Sidebar in the Oregon District and we had an awesome lunch. She gave me a gift of a necklace she made for me and a lovely beaded flower. This was truly unexpected (the gift) and I will cherish them.
• Russell, knowing that I was out to lunch with Barbara, stopped by and left a pot of violet colored hyacinths on my desk, with a little note that said "Happy Birthday Dork, Love Harley"! That was very unexpected, and of course I cried.
• Alan, my old boss stopped by with a card, chocolates and tickets to the Dayton Philharmonic Designers Showhouse!
  
• Emails, cards and hundreds of messages from friends around the globe filled my mailboxes at home, work and on Facebook. That was an incredible feeling.
• Dinner last night with Russell, Lilli, Phil and Logan was a blast. Lots of laughter and good times. We ate at EO (Extra Ordinary Burger) at the Greene.

The day was lovely. The fact that I was feeling blue and melancholy just 24 hours before makes me feel very silly. I will take a small birthday cake to Mother's tomorrow night and we'll have our own little celebration. So again, thank you God for helping me to have a wonderful Birthday. It truly was a "Day of Days"!

Lilac Memories

Wow!!! Two blogs in one day! My "muses of inspiration" are clearly busy and quite inspired.

When we got home from work today, after walking and feeding the dogs, I started to get ready to go visit my Mother. I glanced outside and saw our lilac bush. And then I had an inspiration. I found a pair of scissors and went out and cut a few sprigs. I took them inside and put them into a pretty glass filled with water and left to go visit Mother.

As I was driving, I suddenly was filled with the memory of my Father. One spring day, when we were very young... we came home from school for lunch. I think I was in the 3rd grade and Lilli must have been in the first grade. We had huge lilac bushes in our back yard. I remember him going out and cutting enough springs to make two seemingly large bouquets... one for my teacher and one for Lilli's teacher.

He was very methodical in putting the bouquets together. He soaked paper towels in water and wrapped them around the stems. Then he wrapped them in aluminum foil, and finally he wrapped the stems of the bouquet in newspaper. The bouquets were huge. I can remember the excitement to give them to my teacher. I can remember the pride I felt as we walked the two blocks to school. I remember people looking at them, and commenting on how pretty they were.

Once inside the school, I remember grinning as other teachers oohed and awed over how pretty the bouquets were. And of course I remember my teacher, Mrs. Faga's reaction. She was thrilled, and was profuse in her praise and thanks. I think I must have glowed all afternoon.

So it was with all these thoughts flying through my memory that I walked in to the nursing home. And yes, people looked at my bouquet of lilacs.. they had the same appreciative looks as people all those years ago. And when I entered my Mother's room... she looked at the flowers and smiled nostalgically. "They remind me of home" she said. I smiled and said "I know...... do you remember when Daddy made those bouquets?"

And she smiled and said yes. It was a lovely moment filled with love and shared memories.

The Manning Family "gets it"... Family FIRST!

Anyone who knows me, knows that I am not into Sports. I have always enjoyed Auto Racing... have attended several runnings of the Indianapolis 500. In addition to auto racing, I've attended several Cincinnat Reds games, a few Ohio State Football games and a handful of UD Flyer Basketball games. I also attended several high school football and basketball games "in the day". That said, for some reason, I've really gotten into the NFL this year. I have long admired the Indianapolis Colts, predominantly because of Peyton Manning.

As far as I can tell, Peyton Manning is a true "good guy".... a "what you see is what you get kind of guy". He doesn't show up in the tabloids, he is involved in many philanthropic activities. He gives back. His family roots have always been important. I have enjoyed the camrarderie between his younger brother Eli, also a pro football player. I've enjoyed seening them support each other... being there when the other had a big game (supporting each other in their recent Superbowl Victories for example).

And Eli was there again lastnight, when Peyton lead the Indianapolis Colts to win the AFC Championship. In fact, the entire family was there. The Manning Family's history with the NFL did not begin with Peyton or with Eli. Rather, it began with their Father, Archie, who played for 16 years with the New Orleans Saints. This is ironic, because the Colts, will play the Saints in the upcoming superbowl. And people have speculated who Archie would root for- his old team or his own son.

And others felt that Eli should root for the NY Jets rather than the Colts. Because, afterall, the Jets are from New York... and Eli plays for the other New York team, the New York Giants.

And those who are wondering really don't get what family is all about!!! But the Manning family does get it! Of course they do for they have always exemplified the ideal Family. Family comes first for the Mannings. No matter what! God Bless them, and I hope that people can learn something from the expample the set.

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