Thursday, May 09, 2013

Missing my Mother...

Many moons have passed since my last post last October.  And much has happened.  I've not had the heart or energy to blog about the death of my Mother on November 11, 2012.  Yet with Mother's Day approaching, and all the reminders about celebrating Mom's, I'm compelled to finally write this.

Her death was a blessing, to be sure.  And it is a comfort to know that she was no longer afraid... she smiled everytime we prayed with her during those last weeks.  That in itself was worth everything, because she had been so fearful.  We are so thankful to Pastor Steve Becker and to the Chaplains from Hospice.  They helped her so very very much.  And thankfully, she is finally free from the terrible pain that she suffered from for so very long.

The staff at Oak Creek Terrace, the nurses and aides, led by Carla Becker from Hospice of Greater Dayton were fabulous.  Our family is so incredibly grateful to them for the care and support they gave to Mother, and to all of us.

Watching her slip away that last day was difficult.  I couldn't bear to leave her side, yet I wanted to escape.  We played music for her, especially her favorite: "Somewhere" by Barbra Streisand.  She adored that song, and begged us to play it for her when she was on her deathbed.  And we did.  It was difficult, but it's what she wanted, and we were determined to do anything for her.  We planned her her memorial service, and I think she would have been pleased.  Pastor Steve presided, and we had traditional readings and music.  And we included some other things that I know in my heart would have pleased her very much.  We played "Somewhere" by Barbra Streisand at the end of the service and there were bowls of Milky Way bars for people to enjoy.  Milky Way bars were Mother's favorite, and the main staple of her diet for the last couple of years.  And now that's she's free, I'm sure she's in heaven, soaring freely along the milky way!

From Mother's Funeral:

Memorial Service for Julia Chace Fisher Garretson

Monday, November 19th, 2012, 2:00 p.m.
Woodland Cemetery Mausoleum Chapel
Dayton, Ohio

Pastor Stephan E. Becker - Officiating

Obituary
Julia Garretson, age 81, died at Oak Creek Terrace in Kettering, Ohio, on Sunday, November 12, 2012.
Born April 30, 1931, in Dayton, Ohio, she attended Oakwood High School and graduated from The Masters School, Dobb's Ferry, New York in 1950. She also attended Mount Vernon College in Washington, DC.  She was a loving and devoted mother and grandmother who will be greatly missed by all who knew her.  She was preceded in death by her parents, her husband, Jack S. Garretson and her sister, Elizabeth F. Bruce. Julia is survived by her daughters, Annie G. (Russell) Milliron and Lilli G. (Philip) Lingle; grandchildren, Garretson C. Lingle and Logan D. Lingle; cousin, Anthony Haswell and many nieces and nephews.
The family would like to thank the staff of Oak Creek Terrace for their loving and compassionate care of Julia.  Memorial contributions may be made to Hospice of Dayton, 324 Wilmington Ave., Dayton, OH 45420 or the Humane Society of Greater Dayton, 1661 Nicholas Rd., Dayton, OH 45417.
Irish Blessing
May the road rise to meet you,
may the wind be ever at your back.
May the sun shine warm upon your face,
and the rains fall soft upon your fields.
And until we meet again,
may God hold you in the palm of his hand.

Order of Service

Prelude……………………………………...……“Be Not Afraid” ………………………………………………....“Here I Am Lord” ……………………………………………….“On Eagle’s Wings”
……………………………………………….“The Lord’s Prayer”

Readings
……………………………….Ecclesiastes 3:1-11, Russell Milliron
………………………………………..Romans 5:5-11, Mary Clark
……………………………..Romans 8:31-39, Garretson C. Lingle

Gospel
……………………………John 14:1-6, Pastor Stephan E. Becker



Eulogy…………………………………Pastor Stephan E. Becker


Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
The courage to change the things I can,
And the wisdom to know the difference.

Recessional……………………“Somewhere” By Barbra Streisand and “I will see you in my dreams” by Joe Brown

I miss her.  I miss her desperately.  Knowing this, admitting this, would make her smile, and most likely say something like "I told you so".  And that's ok.. because she would be right. I don't want to be maudlin... I don't feel maudlin.  There's an underlying sadness, but it doesn't consume me.  When it wells up, I let it out.  We're going to the cemetery this weekend with flowers.  It's been awhile, and that's ok.  Because she's not really there.  But we'll take flowers and make it pretty... she'd like that!

I love you Mother.  You are in my heart today, and always.  Happy Mother's Day

1 comment:

Confess said...

I'm sorry to hear of your loss, Annie. It's hard to lose those you care about. The only real peace is in knowing that they are no longer suffering and that the separation is only temporary. My religion holds that when we pass, if we have lived honorably in this life, we will be welcomed into the next with feasting at the hearths of our ancestors. Regardless of your beliefs, though, I hope you find comfort in knowing that she was loved and remembered, and when all is said and done, that is all any of us can hope for.