Another Stroll Down Memory Lane

I flew to Western Massachusetts last weekend to attend my 35th “high school” reunion. To say that both my heart and my mind were filled with sentimental nostalgia is somewhat of an understatement. Driving into Pittsfield from Boston was fun. My friend Caroline and I spent the time catching up and comparing notes as to what our expectations were. As we turned off the Mass. Turnpike and headed north towards Pittsfield, things seemed to be vaguely familiar. It was as if our memories were starting to awaken after a long slumber.


Memory is a wonderful thing… when it works. My Mother always told me that I had an incredible memory, and I would agree for the most part. Yet it is always somewhat surprising when I hear another person’s perception of a shared memory that contradicts my own memory. For example, my sister and I were recently regaling my cousin about the time she dumped a milkshake on my head. I had done something equally obnoxious to warrant such retaliation from her. We both agreed on that. We both had that same memory. Yet we differed on “where” it happened. I am certain that it happened at Wendy’s. She is certain that it happened at Arby’s. We both think we’re right, yet clearly, one of us is wrong. Which is it? Personally, I don’t really care. It’s just slightly annoying to spend time wondering who’s right and whose wrong, when I know I’m right. I’m kidding… because in reality, I have no clue, and have digressed.

As I sat at the opening banquet last Friday night, filled with wonder at being back at the school that I love so much, a place where I found myself, a place that saved my life, I looked around the room, filled with fellow alumni… who all appeared to love the School as much as I did. And the stories that were told… some familiar, some “new to me” resulted in laughter and maybe a few tears. Of course there were the kind of variations that come with gossip and rumors. Laughing at our antics in days gone by, I was vaguely aware of feeling… some sort of surprise when I heard of something that had happened right under my nose. “That really happened?” I’d ask. And apparently it did. Of course, I realize that it’s impossible to know everything that happened. And it was fun to see other’s having similar reactions. Someone described it as gaps in our memories coming alive, almost like finding missing pixels from a digitized photo… one blurry, now a bit more clear.

The weekend flew by. It was a wonderful time- reconnecting with friends… connecting with new friends, who have in common a very special place called Miss Hall’s School. It's comforting to know, that we change, places change... many things stay the same.  With appreciation for the many changes we discovered, there was still so much that had stayed the same.  And for that, I was and am incredibly grateful.

Miss Hall's School Alma Mater

In lofty splendor, stand the Berkshires fair,

And there we know no sorrow, pain or care,

For there we always happy are -- and free.

Oh loyal Gold and Blue we sing to thee.

In after years when we are far apart,

Thy name will always ring in every heart.

No matter how far distant we may be,

Oh MHS we will remember thee.

As Aunt Jo would have said... "Day of Days"....

Aunt Jo, who lived to the ripe old age of 97 used to journal... alot! She would use spiral bound notebooks that you could buy at the corner drug store. She had multitudes of them. And each page began with "I was born on May 6, 1893, and my Father from in his Diary "Day of Days"! We always had a good chuckle about that, bless her heart. Her birthday, clearly was very important to her. And rightly so! My family has always made a big deal about birthdays.... a birthday is a person's unique day where they can celebrate and be celebrated. After moving away from home, we could always count on the phone ringing at midnight. It would be my Mom calling. She wanted to be the first one to say happy birthday.

However this year, the phone was silent. Mother is still able to make calls but she has a broken leg, and has been pretty heavily medicated to keep the pain away. And while I certainly understood why she didn't or couldn't call, it still made me sad. So I went to bed feeling a bit melancholy, and more than a little sorry for myself. Silly I know. I wrote in my journal yesterday:

My birthday... lots of expectations... lots of doubts. Lord, I pray to you for help with this. For some reason, I always have unattainable expectations on this day, and am always disappointed. I know in my heart that this is nobody’s fault but my own. Help me Lord, to appreciate the many blessings I have and to find joy and celebration in them. Amen.

And as it turned out, as I should have known, my prayers were answered. I had a truly wonderful day! Thank you Lord! I truly am very blessed to have good friends, loving family and caring co-workers.

• Laura, my boss brought in flowers, a lovely cake and sand-tarts... she said that a little birdie, who I knew was my former boss Alan, had told her that they were my favorites.
• Barbara my cousin took me out to lunch to the Sidebar in the Oregon District and we had an awesome lunch. She gave me a gift of a necklace she made for me and a lovely beaded flower. This was truly unexpected (the gift) and I will cherish them.
• Russell, knowing that I was out to lunch with Barbara, stopped by and left a pot of violet colored hyacinths on my desk, with a little note that said "Happy Birthday Dork, Love Harley"! That was very unexpected, and of course I cried.
• Alan, my old boss stopped by with a card, chocolates and tickets to the Dayton Philharmonic Designers Showhouse!
  
• Emails, cards and hundreds of messages from friends around the globe filled my mailboxes at home, work and on Facebook. That was an incredible feeling.
• Dinner last night with Russell, Lilli, Phil and Logan was a blast. Lots of laughter and good times. We ate at EO (Extra Ordinary Burger) at the Greene.

The day was lovely. The fact that I was feeling blue and melancholy just 24 hours before makes me feel very silly. I will take a small birthday cake to Mother's tomorrow night and we'll have our own little celebration. So again, thank you God for helping me to have a wonderful Birthday. It truly was a "Day of Days"!

I'm in the mood to prattle....

The day dawned, and it is good to be alive. I was snuggled warmly under my mound of blankets when the 2nd snooze rang... it was time.. time to get up and get going. I knew it would be cold... we were supposed to get down to Zero over night. The weatherman confirmed that it was "indeed" cold... -2 to be exact. And if you pay attention to windchill factors, it was somewhere between -10 and -14 depending on the wind. I have no clue what the windchill was at our house.. all I do know is that it was cold- cold Cold COLD! It is a comfort to know that in just a few days, our temperatures will rise into the 40's! A heatwave, to be sure!

Russell and I had planned to drive separately, because I have a concert to go to tonight, and I need to leave work early. He left first, to go to an early appointment. Of course, this was after cleaning off my frozen car, which has been parked since before the great ice storm of 2011. He is such a good guy... he is a blessing. The sun was shining... another blessing, most definitely! After getting the dogs settled, myself ready, out into the frigid world I marched.

And, of course, I noticed some things.

First, our bird feeders are experienced a great deal of activity, which gives me great joy to watch. Our feeders have been visited by White Breasted Nuthatches, Carolina Chickadees, Tufted Titmice, Cardinals, House Finches, House sparrows, a myriad of woodpeckers and Carolina wrens. All of this reminds me that I need to start my bird list for 2011.

Second, as I was driving through the "new neighborhood" I saw several deer on top of a hill. It looked as though they were sunbathing, and perhaps they were. It was such an awesome sight to behold, and I frantically fished my camera from my purse to capture it. I pushed the button to put down the window, but nothing happened. It was frozen, so my plans were foiled. I was running late, and in all honesty, it was simply too cold to stop and get out of the car. Of course, as I look back, I'm kicking myself.

The third thing I noticed as I drove in was that my car was surrounded by swirling snow. What a sight that must have been. All the snow that has been sitting on my "parked car" for the past couple of weeks took flight and I was in cased in my own personal squall. LOL It tickled me... I felt like Pigpen from "Charlie Brown"!

I got to work, went the long way, for some unknown reason.. wasn't really paying attention, which I probably shouldn't admit! My driving was not impaired, but I was just used to going one way, and ended up having to backtrack. And as it turns out, I'm not the only daffy Milliron today. As I walked from the B lot, I saw Russell's truck pull in. It turns out that his appointment is next week.. and not this week!

So I hurried on to my warm office. I logged in, read my email, and checked Facebook. In my email, I came across this awesome quote:

"God is not disgusted by your uncleanliness. You are the one who is so ashamed of your dirt, and you are the one whom He embraces with His love saying, 'Do not worry, I love you just as you are and I will purify you with great tenderness.'" -S.C. Biela “Behold I Stand at the Door and Knock” pg 16

I felt incredibly uplifted by this. It's so easy to get caught up in feelings of guilt and sorry. It's so easy to beat ourselves up over things and to fill unworthy... forgetting of course that we are Children of God... Children who are loved and adored.... and this quote.... well it's breathtaking.

While on Facebook, quite by accident, I stumbled across a post from a high school friend. I learned the very sad news that another of our high school friends lost his son several days ago. and this was also breathtaking... but breath-taking in the saddest of ways. My heart filled with sorrow for my friend and his loved ones. Details are sketchy but they don't really matter. A young life is over... and from all I could see, he was loved and adored by friends and family alike... people who are all struggling in their sorrow to comprehend what has happened.

After reading my friends page for a while, I went back to mine... only to find a post from a relative that they have a new great-grand child. Death followed by new life. I was struck by how the cycle continues... and I thank God, that I am a child of God... because on days like this, when there is so much to ponder, to consider... so much to mourn for, so much to be joyful for.... none of it is possible without Him...